The Disease

It's my mother's fault. Of course.

My mom creates Christmas tree masterpieces. Each tree has a theme and looks like a picture from a classy magazine. She adds the perfect number of lights and spaces the ornaments just so. They're works of art. The downside? No one else is allowed to help in any way, shape, or form. There is a no-touch zone extending 3 feet out from the tree in all directions.

Sorry, Mom. I'm going public...
When we were children, she would pretend to let us decorate the tree. We'd get out all the ornaments and choose our favorites and carefully place them exactly where we liked them. (Colored lights, tinsel, and anything else remotely gaudy were strictly taboo.) THEN, she would send us over to Grandma's house to decorate Grandma's tree. While we were gone, she would rearrange all our ornaments and put the ugly ones near the back. (Meanwhile, at Grandma's, we could put tinsel and as many ugly ornaments as we wanted, all on the same branch, and they would be left there for the whole Christmas season.)

I remember being mildly offended by my mom's re-decorating practices, but as an adult, I have discovered that this condition is hereditary. My sister and I call it "mom's disease". As grown-ups, we both were surprised to find ourselves coming up with tree themes nearly a year in advance. We would take down the Christmas tree and already be thinking, "Next year, I'm going to do a snow theme on the tree." Then we'd head off to the after-Christmas sales and purchase the needed items for that theme. I know, it's pathetic.

The thing is, my mom was right. I am much happier with the tree when it's decorated "properly". My way of solving this is to have two trees. The one in the top photo is mine. Hard to tell in the picture, but this year's tree is decorated in sort of an "old-fashioned fruits of the season" theme. It has cranberries, candied fruits, candle-lights and gold and cranberry ball ornaments. Below is the kids' tree. They can choose white or colored lights. And they can put whatever they want on it. Almost. It turns out I hate tinsel as much as my mom does. I will admit to a bit of adjustment in ornament positions, but not much because the spacing was already pretty good. So, they are being trained well. They will most likely not be immune to the disease.
Sadly, I think I have offended my children as well when it comes to Christmas trees. Nathan begs every year to put one or more of his own ornaments on "the good tree" (you know, the one in the living room that everyone sees, MY tree). I consented this year to having him hang his fish ornament on my tree. But only because it's dark brown and blends in. I might have to adjust it later, though.