WANTED: The Kitchen Bandit

Would anyone care for a salt-and-pepper flavor yogurt?

You know how people use that phrase "terrible twos"? For years, I've been telling them that they're wrong--it's really the terrible threes. My boys were sweet and quite innocent in the "twos" and then little demons when they were three. But now, with a girl, I have discovered the origins of the terrible twos. Aaaaacccchhhh! One of us might not survive till she's three.

The above photo is the result of me turning my back for a few minutes while she "ate" her yogurt. She dumped in some water, then added ALL the salt from the salt shaker and most of the pepper. When I turned back around, she was stirring her concoction.

By itself, this incident is no big deal, right? But there's a cumulative effect when it's just one in a series. Other crimes this week include:

• Continually filling a cup with water and then trying to dump it in the sink, but missing, thereby causing me to waste time searching for a leak in the plumbing.
• Sprinkling handfuls of cat litter all over the bathroom. Yes, it's the kind that expands and makes black marks when wet.
• She has become a professional confetti maker whenever she can get her hands on a pair of scissors.

I now keep all my bathroom stuff in baskets on my vanity. The drawers and cabinets are practically bare. Nothing is safe anymore.

Here are some great parenting quotes that help me to laugh it off at the end of the day:

• Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. (Phyllis Diller)
• A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. (Jerry Seinfeld)
• Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. (Fran Lebowitz)
• If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says "keep away from children". (Susan Savannah)