Voice-print

How much can you tell about a person over the phone?

A few days ago, I had reason to call for a doctor's appointment for myself and ended up talking to someone on the nurse-line. During my appointment that afternoon I glanced at the computer screen and saw the description of me the nurse had given after our conversation:

"Alert, pleasant female in no acute distress."

It seemed so flat. Two-dimensional. Me in one sentence. But my next thought was that I was just very thankful to be given the "pleasant" label. I don't often get that in a mini-bio. Maybe I just don't deserve it. Anyway, it made me think, "How would I describe the rest of my family in that nurse-y patient-status format?" So here's what I came up with:

(I'm not always as cynical as I sound in these. I do really love my family. But these are pretty honest assessments of the "norm"s.)

NATHAN: "Lethargic, whining male in chronic perceived distress."

DANIEL: "Hyperactive, combative male in acute sugar overload." (When it comes to moods, this is probably the 9-1-1 equivalent.)

STEPHANIE: "Energetic, insistent young female in chronic emotional flux."

ERIC: "Unresponsive but agreeable male in chronic state of exhaustion." (The poor guy is always burning the candle at both ends. Like most males, he's good at tuning us all out, but he is very agreeable and patient.)

Seeing that nurse's note was a good reminder to me that the people I encounter throughout the day see me through a very specific lens and I don't always give them reason to call me "pleasant". I need to add that to my 2011 goals, which is a sure-fire way to make sure nothing changes. Kidding, I hope.